We have so many ways to communicate with each other today, but we still often hit a communication brick-wall. You can write to people as often as you like, but you can’t force them to read what you write.
I use two e-mail addresses, SMS, What’s App, Snapchat (now and again) and Messenger. Which doesn’t sound like a lot I must admit. But everybody has their own channel preference and I need to monitor them all, so I don’t miss something. And that’s not always easy as I also have my preferences. The more options there are, the more complex it all becomes. The many groups in Messenger, which are often comprised of different combinations of the same people, make it hard for me to remember where a conversation has taken place. Or was that conversation in an email? The time I’ve wasted looking for specific messages! And every little event becomes a new group and sometimes I get a little dazed and confused by it.
Before the advent of internet, I wrote letters and was in regular contact with many people, both family and friends. A few times a year, that is. Most wrote back just as regularly, and some didn’t. But who writes letters these days? Not me, though I sometimes find myself writing emails like they were letters, which is probably not such a good idea. By writing too much it feels like I’m stealing time in someone’s life by asking them to read it and I even feel guilty doing that! Which is of course totally nuts. Letters used to anyway get opened and presumably read. Whereas emails can get lost in reams of spam, or read, closed and forgotten, if they’re not answered quickly. If there’s news to impart, is it OK to write long emails? I hope so.
I love the ease with which I can instantly message people whenever I want, but what are our expectations on a reply? People are rarely able to answer right away, so I don’t expect a ding within seconds, or even hours. But I have to say it’s frustrating when a reply never shows up, and that happens. So, what’s the etiquette for messaging to a friend? What are the dos and don’ts? Must you always keep messages short if you want an answer? When is it OK not to answer? More than 20 words? More than 10 words? I’ve no idea.
To check up on messaging etiquette, I looked through a few sites and there are plenty of them. But I found nothing that specifically addressed the questions above. On the other hand, there was quite a lot on how (I presume) algorithms handle ignored messages in Messenger. And comments like this one: “If the person is in your contacts that means you know the person, so ignoring their message might just make things awkward next time you see them. Otherwise who the hell really cares?? I ignore messages all the time!” Brilliant! Now that’s what I call social media!
The point being, all this technology meant to help us communicate with each other is no help at all if we choose not to read messages, or not to reply.
I loved Led Zeppelin when it came out in 1969. But it was still the 60s, and that was very much reflected in the lyrics. Not that I cared about that at the time. I was only interested in the music, the voice, the sound and the way they played. Robert Plant, last addition to the band, didn’t contribute to the writing on this album, apart from on “Babe I’m Gonne Leave You”. But his time was gonna come. Here’s verse 2 of “Communication Breakdown”:
Hey girl I
got something I think you ought to know.
Hey babe I want to tell you that I love you so.
I want to hold you in my arms, yeah!
I’m never gonna let you go,
‘Cause I like your charms.
But what the hell. It was great anyway and Plant had me convinced, even with these lyrics.